My husband is a good chap, but bloody hell, he can't keep his dick erect for more than 5 minutes even if his life depended on it! Along with our marriage, my cunt is also suffering the consequences. I am aware I should be mature, but what does it tak...

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

I'm no beauty queen, so I'd prefer a guy who sees something in me that worth keeping. A guy who can unveil my best assets and help me overcome my so-called imperfections.

Just give me 60 seconds! Don't worry I'll just make thou fall in love with me! No, casting spells or black magic. I just tend to have other ways to convince. Well, thou will adore me once thou get to know that I am lovable, sweet that others seem to ...

Everyone seems to be attracted to good looking guys. However, that's just not me. I tend to fancy lads with messy hair and a body not sculpted like a greek statue. It just seems more real, and real is what I want.

I'm thankful because of three things: - I have big, pinkish thrupney bits, you should see it. - I'm pervy and always on the pull. I can't control my fanny. - I get off with someone from time to time. Yes, because I'm always pervy.